Why so critical grasshopper...? You don't have a leg to stand on.

Lately, I don't know why, but I've been very critical of others. Other people who are actually doing something, while me, who can't seem to find a job in Lawton, Okahoma, is sitting on my ass "playing house." I only say I'm playing house, because in the sprawling metropolis that is this great city, I've been challenged to even find a volunteer opportunity. Which reminds me, I need to make a phone call to see if I can at least volunteer at the hospital. I guess that majority of volunteers are little old retired bitties, but I can totally swing that.

Anyway, I digress.

I don't know what reasons have me to be so critical. I have a feeling it has something to do with being idle and at home and not sure what to do. A couple of friends of mine and the boyfriends are starting a business dealing with bars. Now, I'm mainly critical on

two points, they don't have the education (though have had the means to get it) nor have they even ever worked in a bar or restaurant to know the day to day operations. I never particularly had the desire to work at a bar, mainly because of my time working at Applebee's during college. The tables around the bar sucked to wait. I was a glorified cocktail waitress without the cute clothes (and therefore ability to sell my body, as well as an occasional drink). I can't believe my old Applebee's went to the Dickies... Sorry, Dickies, but your pants are the most incredibly UGLY pants in the history or pants... except for maybe these kind which I think are actually supposed to be in style now... *shudder* (mainly I don't like them because they seem to highlight everything that's gross about me, though we always want what we don't have I guess....)

Anyway, back on topic. Another aquatince of mine from high school recently launched a website to connect high school athletes and college coaches. I find this kind of ironic since he really got burned by the school he went to, had his dreams of being a college quarterback pulled out from under him like an old rug. He ended up staying on at this large division I school, and was second string and then maybe even third string as time went on. He didn't ever transfer since the NCAA (the devil to many) makes you sit out a year before starting at a new school. Kind of sad. College is supposed to be five years... oh wait, was that four? I think he may have played a hand full of games at best. Though, maybe he was humbled a bit, seemed like the first time he was actually passed up for anything. I remember meeting him when I first got to school there at my old high school. I'm not sure he ever even went to class. He got his school paid for and got into one of the best schools in Texas, so who would complain? I can't say that you can really hate anybody who surfs through life on that never ending wave. You might just be jealous that he got up and you didn't... or got there first. Oh well.

I am just in a holding pattern for the moment, and I recognize that. I know come next September I will be in full swing in law school, wishing really bad I was sitting on my ass at home looking for volunteer opportunities. And here I am, jumping into the sea of unknowns myself. Supposedly it's a terrible time to go to grad school, but if I waited, it would just be putting off the inevitable, since this is something I've wanted to do for a long time. Which I guess brings me to it. The point I mean. I'm not much different from the folks above. I'm going from debt-free to full of debt to pursue a dream that might not make me any richer than the one I left to pursue it. But is it all about money? No. It's not. It's about job satisfaction, and in that department, a change was required for my future sanity. My old unit is deploying... again. As in now when they've hardly been back a year. Is that really how I wanted to live my life? And nobody actually cared about you, it was always lip service about being professional and ethical and fair and "care about Soldiers" and all that jazz.

So, to all you people out there that are going for it, good luck. I will be here to help if you want or need it. I will be less critical, either outright or in my mind since you're out there doing it and I'm, well, for the time being, spinning my wheels. Maybe I should work on that Etsy website I started. A plug for Etsy. Really cute, must check out. All handmade and vintage items. I wanted to make soaps, and then the soap dishes for the soap out of stained glass. I always wanted to learn how to make vintage soap! My shop would be called Bee Bee's Bubbles, from my nickname by my friend Jock Quez (totally a nickname also). Funny enough, I set up some of the stuff a head of time, just wanted to get my hands on a copy of photoshop to make some images. Need to work on that. Need to stop slacking. LOL